A Timber Fanatacist's Guide to Soccer

  Let us entertain you... "If we don’t make the playoffs this year….." Wait, what?  We haven't even seen the team play yet (unbeaten in the Coachella tourney THAT WASN'T EVEN STREAMED doesn't count).  The team has made some substantive changes to the roster, some stalwart players are still rehabbing and...  And we are getting ahead of ourselves. Welcome to the Timbers $hit Talkers (T$T)!  We are a group of Timbers fanatics who are really good at entertaining each other but who wanted to share that entertainment with a few other fanatics (look into the mirror please).  We are an array of personalities and professionals who love soccer, love beer, love Portland and what better way to celebrate all three than by being a Timbers Fanatic? (You all do know that is what "fan" is short for, right?) NOTE: The following post is meant solely for entertainment.  Any actual tactical or strategic insights are most likely false and, if not, interpretations from a bee...

Making the Grade (2022 edition):  Timbers vs. Revolution And so it begins... I just love the absoluteness of seeing that "Starting XI." It means game day is upon us, that soccer (futbol) really matters once again and, for this roster in particular, that the 2022 season is about to get underway!! If you haven't seen our bit on the pre-season thoughts, check it out here.  But moving forward, we want to provide some fan-based analysis.  The guys who call the game see what they see and the analysts look at the numbers and see what they see but what do fanatics of this team see upon our witnessing???  That is what we will share here.  By "we" I mostly mean "me" until my comrades get their collective "$hit" together.  Technically I could just cut and paste from the text string but...  ooooohhhhh!!! So I was thinking that pasting the text string would be a great way to show the backstreet driver analysis we are so very good at, but in reviewing offi...

What is this???  This piece is in reaction to all of the “news” and complete lack of “analysis” coming out of the Timbers camp.  I mean seriously, I want to debate, prognosticate, learn a little, laugh a little and drink a lot (meet you at the Goose)!  Timbers’ fans deserve more than just the news, and maybe at some point my friends and fellow Timbers fanatics will pipe in and add their voices to the debate. And now for something completely different…. When Mora slotted in that game tying goal back in December, didn't it seem like that was as good as a victory??  The pent-up emotional release that ensued was deafening and shook every fan down the core of their soul...  And yes, in the end, the other team took home the trophy.  So no second star for the Portland Timbers...  And on the bright side, we have another banner to hang and that will save me some money on new gear! Photo Credit: Portland Timbers So all the pundits are giving their prognosticatio...

So @StumptownFooty asked and I responded but, to be honest, this has been on my mind for the last few weeks as a missing piece of game by game analysis that would allow us to delve into each position, each player and start a conversation that maybe Gio and Gavin will end up reading (along with all your comments!). As they say, a rising tide raises all boats, so when the Timbers win, the grades might seem a little high and when they lose, vice versa.  But in general, the methodology is to start with a 'C' and then see (no pun intended) what they can do for us lately.  A mid-week game coming off a 4-game losing streak is probably as good a place to start as any... Timbers vs. FC Toronto - Wednesday, August 29, 2018 (@ Providence Park) Attinella (A) - Clean sheet, ‘nuff said. He saved what he needed to, let the woodwork save what it needed to and let the defense keep shots on goal to a minimum. Mabiala (A-) - This was his first game alongside ...